This landscape


Daughter dearest,

Never.  Ever.  Never ever.  Never ever.
Never will I let go of you.
Never will I move on from you.
Never in the entirety of this life I still have to live.

You were born.  You stayed for a week.
And then you died.
You went back to the Source.

The Source of Love still exists.
It was here long before all of us came to be.
And it will stay long after we have all died.
We bask and we bathe in that source.
It is vast and inexhaustible.

You are no longer alive.  You don’t have a life anymore.
So now you live inside of me.  Now we will share this life.
Not in the way I wanted to share it with you,
but we will share it nonetheless.

So there is no letting go.  Never.

In the landscape of your mother’s heart, there is an enormous crater.
It is formed by the biggest force in existence.
You, my Love.

Inside it I bow
To you, my little buddha, to Love, to the Source, to my yearning to hold you,
All of which are the same

I bow in the middle of that crater,
Of what is yet a desolate landscape
A painfully beautiful landscape
For things of great beauty are often painful

I will work in this crater,
Plow the soil
I will try to grow even more beauty here
I will nurture it
I will do this for the rest of this life.

This is my promise to you.

Eén opmerking over 'This landscape'

  1. Liefste Jessieken, prachtige mama, het is erg aangrijpend en ontroerend mooi, een enorm liefdevol eerbetoon aan jullie zo geliefd dochterje en mijn kleindochtertje Jolientje. Duizendmaal bedankt ervoor!


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